5 things I wish I knew at 20

I don't know why but lately I've been thinking a lot about the stage of life I'm at and looking back at whats happened in my life so far and thinking about the future and I was thinking about what I wish I had known 5 years ago.. all of these things are still very relevant and things I try to remind myself of regularly.

Don't compare your position and journey in life to those you see around you! During the decade between age 20-30 (and this extends of course) it seems as though everything goes a bit crazy around you. Everyone seems to have their stuff together and everyone seems to be on a speedboat through the life check points, wizzing through them and seemingly exceeding all expectations and success. People seem to be finding the love of their life and buying a house and having children or they are loving their career and moving up the corporate ladder or perhaps they have their own business that's doing really well. It's easy to focus on what everyone else is doing and view their life as 'perfect' or 'worthy' and then look at your own position and kinda think 'wow what am I doing, I'm not achieving anything, I don't really know what to do next'. You really don't need to have everything figured out and one thing you'll quickly discover is that when you're young you think that adults know what they are doing but as you get older you see that no one really does, everyone is confused by life and is trying to figure it out daily. When I was 16, for example, I thought I would be fine and know my life 'calling' if you will by the age of 21 because that seems so old and far away but I am now 25 and a half and god I have no idea whats going on. All I do know is that everyone seems to want your MONEY and TIME as an adult. I think it's important to remember (and I'm trying to do this too) that everyone has their own struggles and confusions but we only see what the good people have. Let's get personal for a minute, I regularly think...oh gosh... I should own a house and be having kids by now like Joanne that I went to college with (made up), perhaps married like Tony (made up again) or at least have a good stable job where I am moving up the ladder (like Fiona) - made up people but real examples - and I sort of put pressure on myself, get a bit down and feel jealous. Then I realise we are all on different paths and I have just quit my 9-5 job and am trying to start my own business and YouTube - perhaps Fiona is jealous of this because she is bored in her 9-5 and wishes she had the courage to leave. I am a bit of a free spirit in terms of renting and can move anywhere when my yearly contract finishes (maybe Joanne sees this and thinks 'I can never do this even though I'd love to try to live abroad because I have kids and a mortgage'). Anyway, you get the idea! Everyone is on their own path and that's ok... just focus on your own happiness and development.

Try new hobbies and get outside of your comfort zone - You will learn so much about life and yourself if you just step outside your comfort zone. If theres anything you've always thought 'I'd love to do that but I never could because ;x,y and z' then let this be the thing that triggers you to actually start doing said thing. Let's say when you walk to work you always see the same people running and you think 'I've always wanted to be a runner and I think i'd really enjoy it as I loved sports in school but I am not in shape anymore, I have no time, I would look silly and I don't have the right trainers'. You keep making reasons as to why you can't do it instead of thinking of how to do it. You need to break down the reasons you are putting off trying this new thing. Not in shape? Okay well thats expected if you don't eat well and exercise so this is your start to getting in shape... you don't need to expect yourself to go on your first run and breeze through a marathon. Have no time? So you literally don't have a spare 20 mins after work or before work or at the weekend? If you want to incorporate running into your life then perhaps you need to prioritise it over something else and so on. Lower the barrier to entry. So instead of thinking 'when I eventually go for a run I will run like that super fit guy I saw the other day and run for 1 hour without sweating or getting out of breath' and change this to 'on Saturday at 9am I am going to walk for 2 mins, jog slowly for 2 mins and alternate this for a short period of time that I can manage'.

I'm not good at stepping out of my comfort zone and worry about failing and other people thinking I am stupid. HOWEVER, in November last year I decided my life was getting pretty stale and I wasn't excited about anything and was not challenging myself so I decided to try something that I thought would really really push me into a place of discomfort and that was when I uploaded my first youtube video. I must have found something rewarding in doing that because I'm still going.

Check out my channel: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCzoz8cL248nLkOnUyPNpPMA

Don't accept second best - Don't settle because you think you should - if you're not enjoying your university course, or are wanting more for yourself and perhaps your current career is not fulfilling you...whatever it may be, know that you're young, have options and it all comes down to being brave enough to make big decisions and not listen to the 'what if I regret this' voices in your head. I think It's easy to think 'oh god I'm 20 or 24 or 30 and I have already spent 4 years getting a plumbing qualification and now i have been in my job for 2 years so thats 6 years so I cant give up now and find a new job because I would have wasted 6 years'. The question you need to ask yourself is 'is it better to continue being unhappy just for the sake of 'wasting 6 years'?' or should you view it as 'I've learnt loads in 6 years, met some good people, gained skills and now I don't want to continue doing something I am not loving because life is short and I don't want to regret not trying something in another 6 years when I look back'.

Work on your health - mentally and physically. I don't think you're ever too old to work on your mental and physical health but it's definitely something I wish I had concentrated on when I was 20 and younger. Fortunately, mental health is talked about so much more nowadays so there is much much more awareness surrounding it than perhaps there was. But nevertheless, I wish I had known just how important looking after yourself was and how it can impact your everyday life and future.

No-one actually cares about what you are doing or what you look like etc. We spend so much time when we are younger worrying about what other people are thinking about us or being worried about expressing ourselves in the way we feel most comfortable incase we are judged. I have realised now that no-one actually cares. Of course, it's natural to worry about certain things because you are worried your family or friends will think badly of you or be disappointed in you etc but its important to take some time to realise that it's actually no-one else's business as long as whatever it is you're doing is not affecting someone else.

Just remember to keep doing you!

Thank you for reading,

Hayley